Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
