I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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