I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
