He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
