Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
