My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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