ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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