my mouth tastes like poor choices
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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