were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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