He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
