I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
