am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
