i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
