I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
you never un-have a 4some
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
