Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
