I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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