There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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