Do you still have your period?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
