Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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