I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
is that a dick in a sweater?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
