i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
