your thong is hanging out like whoa
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
