So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
