I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
