Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
