"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
