She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed đ
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have âdaddy issuesâ. Fuck all of you.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being âgoodâ and 10 being âbanging a studentâs fatherâ, how bad is it that Iâm banging a studentâs father?
Randomize
