i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
