i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
