probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
