so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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