actually, I'm a sock model
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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