is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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