so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
