does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
