took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We need to rekindle our bromance
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize