That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
