I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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