just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
