we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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