yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
