the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize