Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
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