nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
