Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The best revenge is premature balding
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize
