Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
