i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
