apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
