You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
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