Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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