apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
