I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
