I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
