i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
