He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
