Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
