It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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