Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
