We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
