Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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