oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
