Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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