saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
